Hiding Scarlet Inside 

The cloth was a little rough to the first touch. The kimono was apparently worn long and looked very old. It must have been woven with yarn manually spun from floss. The knots woven into the cloth were not delicate at all. The weft was all back and the warp was a combination of black and amber, which made a subtle stripe pattern of a black impression. The lining was indigo cotton cloth of some volume. This is a man｡ﾇs kimono. There must be patches in places. But how glossy and elastic!  Being old is not a defect but expresses its strength instead.  The power of old silk is amazing! 

I'll make a jacket with this. I'll make an "awase" jacket, a jacket that can be worn two ways, inside out or outside out, that is a so- called reversible.How would it be if silk cloth be put inside and roughly quilted? There｡ﾇs suitable material of black pongee for the other side. The collar would be high- necked and the front buttoned down. I imagined a light and warm jacket that can be worn casually by a professional woman worker. I instantly decided that the cloth inside was to be"momi".

"Momi" is red silk cloth dyed with safflower - the red color that slightly shows in some kimono sleeves or armpits. Safflower is used as medicine andsaid that the red color dyed with it exorcises evil. Although "momi" is put inside the jacket, the red color does not appear outside a bit. However, the color even  hiding  must surely give some special power to the person who wears it. As I thought so, I remembered an occurrence I had a long time ago. 

I was working for a multinational corporation at that time. The corporation had an office inside a leading Japanese trading company to carry out a joint venture with the trading company. A German, an Australian, an American, a British, sometimes an Indian or a Filipino got together to work there and no Japanese employees except a few secretaries including myself and a messenger boy worked. One of the staff in charge of this venture of the Japanese side was a young man, who had a long nose, thick brows. tight lips and black hard hair like a helmet. He would joke merrily with the overseas personnel and made relaxing air. He wouldn｡ﾇt speak a word to us Japanese other than obliged on business and used to pass by hurriedly.

One day I had to talk to that young Japanese man called T-san to solve a little problem. It could be settled easily if we clarified the situation. As I began to explain the matter and wanted to get his understanding, he started to shout with menace in his voice. No sooner was I taken aback than he took advantage of trifle things. Without knowing what's happening, he hung up on me. My eyes got wet with tears on being hung up. After cooling myself down, I told thecircumstances to my boss briefly, but I had to admit that my voice was shaking with anger. All the staff seemed to be pricking up their ears. Then one of them deliberately said, "So, you had a fight with T-san, hah?" and looked at me with interest. "Oh, you did!" said other members also amused. My boss, with no attention to the main business, he asked, "Did you win?" and as I couldnot answer readily to him, he laughed loudly. 

I was miserable to have been overwhelmed by the hysterics of that kind of young man(though I was young too) and to have been driven to the point of shedding tears. "You must keep yourself brave to the end. Otherwise you can｡ﾇt keep your position. You! You're not qualified unless you can laugh with those foreign members! " I groaned alone with shame and vexation.

I want to have worn the scarlet thing hidden in my jacket. How comforting it would have been if I could have hauled the power from the scarlet and secretly made myself strong.  Japanese "momi" hidden as lining has bundled up Japanese women and supported them both in mind and body. If I had had this jack at that time, if I had believed in the power of the red cloth quilted inside, could I have had the edge a little more over T-san?  Well, it reminds me dimly that it was midsummer that time. I wonder what one should do during the summer? Should I hide red color at the bottom of my heart, not inside the cloth?